Scared

I need to pull myself together. I’m just really scared.

I’m scared of conversations. Of ending conversations. Of starting one.

Like how I’m scared of talking for I might say something wrong. Or I might offend someone. But I’m more scared of not talking because we all have different ways to view silences. You might take my silence for the wrong reasons and I wouldn’t want that.

I was scared of letting love go. But I was far more scared of letting myself fall in the first place.

Like how I’m scared of meeting people. And sharing a part of myself to them, cause you know, people always leave. And that part of me that I shared with them, I can never take back. But I was even more scared of them leaving a part of themselves to me. Cause those parts will stay with me forever. Like a memory. No, a scar. A constant reminder of the person who came and left your life.

I’m scared of ends. But I was more scared of new beginnings.

Like how I love sunsets more than sunrises. Yes, the setting sun is a sign of a day’s battle coming to an end, but it is also a reminder that you’ve gone past the day. You’ve made it through. No matter what that day has given you. But sunrises bring the constant struggle to wake up, dress up, eat up, and never give up. Yes it’s a new day and it’s a whole new reason to be thankful for, but sometimes your days start out wrong, you can’t help but feel afraid.

——-nothing follows——-

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