Untitled: Entry #11

#Maskipaps2015

All I wanted was to see the Geminids meteor shower but it turns out, I didn’t need a shooting star. 🙂

Thank you friends for a great night. I could write about all the conversations (and you know I would) but maybe not this time.

Thank you for the bands who played last night. You guys are awesome. ♥  Autotelic, Mayonnaise, Silent Sanctuary, Franco, Urbandub and Parokya ni Edgar. And to the organizers, congratulations and thank you!

Best way to end the semester. ♥  🙂

Untitled: Entry #9

What happens when two guarded people try to break each other’s walls.

Confusion.

Misunderstanding.

A fight here and there.

They try again.

They’ll fail.

But they’ll try over and over.

Because it’s worth it.

The chance is so worth it, failing once, twice, or a million times isn’t going to be an obstacle.

Sure, they’ll get hurt.

They’ll doubt if this is worth the time.

Worth the pain.

Is it worth the struggle to let your guards down?

Is it worth the fall?

Is it worth the destruction of the wall you’ve both tried so hard to build around yourselves after being hurt?

—–

YES.

But you don’t need to break each other’s walls or put your guards down.

You just have to let each other in.

Untitled: Entry #8

In a world of technological advancements and the Internet age, we often find ourselves Online. And we often rely on social networking sites to have that sense of connection with someone. Yes, communication is easy nowadays. But is it really?

Tell me how many times you’ve had a misunderstanding over chat, or how many times people mistook one of your tweets, or how many times you’ve misread someone else’s Facebook status. How often have you had an argument because your words are just words when placed on a text box? So, how can we say that we’re truly connected to anyone when we may always have this rift with them because we did not fully understand them?

Being a sarcastic girl, this is an all time problem I have to face. Which is why I still favor face to face conversations. Your words are uttered with emotions. The proper emotions you want to convey. There aren’t many gray areas of what it could mean, you get exactly what it is.

Untitled: Entry #7

I was on a jeepney ride today and I happened to sit with a nice lady on her way to work and I noticed she was wearing stockings. I know, it’s mundane and really, it’s a small thing to notice. No big deal. But then I remembered how it felt like to be bullied just because you wore stockings.

It was way back in high school. We were to perform in a school activity and I hated wearing shorts (back then) because I felt naked. But we had to, so my mom suggested that I wear stockings instead. And I did. No big deal.

But people made a huge deal out of it. People believed that I wore them to hide scars. And by scars they meant, A WHOLE LOT OF SCARS.

The entire time I felt helpless. Yes, now you may say if it’s not true you shouldn’t be affected by it. But, then how can you not be when people look at you with eyes like having scars was wrong. I don’t really know what’s wrong with that, actually. But that time those people made me believe and feel like it was.

I wasn’t hiding any scar by the way, if I was perhaps I wouldn’t be wearing shorts now. Perhaps the only scar I’m hiding right now is that scar brought about by being bullied. It sure did leave a scar on my confidence however, instead of crying over it, I kind of like used that as a mark for the battle I have won. A battle-scar that would constantly remind me that I am so much better than the rumors around me.

I know for those of us, who has been into deeper and more traumatic experiences with bullies, this may seem like an insult to the way you feel, and I respect that. I guess we all just have a different approach and different ways to deal with things, but I do think that finding strength in the things that wear you down is the best revenge you can ever get for all the things you’ve been through with your demons. Proving those bullies that you’re so much better than what they make of you (without even harming them) would be more fulfilling.

So if you’re out there, and you’ve just had the worst day because someone just bullied you; stand up, stand tall, and make yourself the best version of who you truly are. ♥

Untitled: Entry #6

You can’t say you didn’t hurt anyone, especially after they told you that you did. You are in no position to do that. You never felt their pain, never heard their heartbeat stop at your words, and you never saw the tears they held back when you gave that hour long monologue of how stupid they were.

I know, cause I was on the other end of the line. I’ve learned this the hard way. The experience is the best teacher way. And I was wrong to tell the other person that it was okay. It wasn’t okay. I wasn’t okay. So next time someone tells you how to feel, don’t feel the way they want you to. Be responsible of what you truly feel.

Disclaimer: Stop assuming, di lahat ng bagay tungkol sa’yo.

Untitled: Entry #3

I will keep this short.

I don’t know what I’m not ready for. Is it the ghost of old memories haunting me as I move forward, or the idea of making new ones and eventually leaving them behind as well? Is it the pain of the past, or the uncertainty of the future? Is it because of the walls built around oneself that we are afraid to cross or the knife we use to peel ourselves to reveal a little bit more?

Ha!

I don’t know.