Untitled: Entry #7

I was on a jeepney ride today and I happened to sit with a nice lady on her way to work and I noticed she was wearing stockings. I know, it’s mundane and really, it’s a small thing to notice. No big deal. But then I remembered how it felt like to be bullied just because you wore stockings.

It was way back in high school. We were to perform in a school activity and I hated wearing shorts (back then) because I felt naked. But we had to, so my mom suggested that I wear stockings instead. And I did. No big deal.

But people made a huge deal out of it. People believed that I wore them to hide scars. And by scars they meant, A WHOLE LOT OF SCARS.

The entire time I felt helpless. Yes, now you may say if it’s not true you shouldn’t be affected by it. But, then how can you not be when people look at you with eyes like having scars was wrong. I don’t really know what’s wrong with that, actually. But that time those people made me believe and feel like it was.

I wasn’t hiding any scar by the way, if I was perhaps I wouldn’t be wearing shorts now. Perhaps the only scar I’m hiding right now is that scar brought about by being bullied. It sure did leave a scar on my confidence however, instead of crying over it, I kind of like used that as a mark for the battle I have won. A battle-scar that would constantly remind me that I am so much better than the rumors around me.

I know for those of us, who has been into deeper and more traumatic experiences with bullies, this may seem like an insult to the way you feel, and I respect that. I guess we all just have a different approach and different ways to deal with things, but I do think that finding strength in the things that wear you down is the best revenge you can ever get for all the things you’ve been through with your demons. Proving those bullies that you’re so much better than what they make of you (without even harming them) would be more fulfilling.

So if you’re out there, and you’ve just had the worst day because someone just bullied you; stand up, stand tall, and make yourself the best version of who you truly are. ♥